


Spider-Troll: Into The Vriska-Verse

by gamblignant8



Series: The Voyage of the Ondine [2]
Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, March Eridan, Spider-Verse, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 04:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19099576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamblignant8/pseuds/gamblignant8
Summary: Vriska Lalonde-Maryam is the one and only Spider-Troll. By day, a student at the city college. By night, a fighter of crime and corrupt officials. She's out for a typical evening's work when an unexpected canon-hopping visitor derails everything and shows her the broader world of...the Vriska-Verse.





	Spider-Troll: Into The Vriska-Verse

She’d just stepped out for a smoke, relishing the cool air after the sweaty din of her set. You watched her from the rooftop, waiting. The soothing sound of the L rolling _clack clack_ a block away was interrupted, though, by a chatter more galling than any train’s brake squeal. 

ZEBRUH: ♡ Chixie, sweetheart, ♡ I loved your show tonight.

_Oh, great, Zebruh._ Her music took off when this creep featured her on his blog, “Rage Against The Drone,” and he now believes that entitles him to direct an omnipresent stream of overfamiliar romantic advance in her direction forevermore. Quoth the you, though, nevermore. (See, Professor Lalonde? You _were_ paying attention in your community college English class this week.) (“Professor Lalonde” is what you call your mom when you’re in her class because oh my god you never want anyone to find out the professor is your mom. That would be really embarrassing!) Oh, right, you were up to something. Creepy guy. You’d found out about this prick on Chixie’s vent Chittr. Lowblood chaser. You did some digging on him, Sollux coded a few chatbots to collect incriminating DMs from him ( _a wa2te of my talent2 tbh_ ) and now you’re gonna confront him with receipts. And by “confront him with receipts,” you mean you’re going to jump off this building into the alley with the indie singer and her unwanted suitor and punch that dude directly in the face. Wait, maybe you should introduce yourself first? 

VRISKA: Oh, right.  
VRISKA: My name is Vriska Maryam-Lalonde. I was 8itten by a radioactive spider and for ten years I’ve 8een the one and only Spider-Troll.  
VRISKA: I’ve 8een 8usting criminals and corrupt cops alike since then.  
VRISKA: Not to 8rag, 8ut I’ve saved the whole neighborhood a few times already.  
VRISKA: Now I’m looking for 8igger fish to fry.  
VRISKA: And also this one regular sized fish.  
VRISKA: As a 8onus.  
VRISKA: I 8alance all of that and 8eing a freshman at Brooklyn City College.  
VRISKA: And if you’re a8out to 8e like, “Isn’t 23 a little old to 8e a freshman?”  
VRISKA: Can it. I’ve got stuff going on.  
VRISKA: Stuff like...this!  


You jump off the ledge in an elegant backflip, swing in an infinity-sign arc on your way down, and descend like peregrine falcon putting a pigeon out of its miserable existence. Except, instead of a beak, you’ve got a hard metal fist. 

Okay, you DEFINITELY just broke his nose. Whoops. 

The indigo yelps pathetically and goes down in a heap. He looks up in fear and stares just a little too long, clutching the bloody, snotty mess of his nose. You wind up your arm again and he scurries backwards on all fours like a frightened cat, stumbling up into a scurry and running past the dumpsters into the cool night. 

You give Chixie a nod you hope is suave. She's in your trig class. You hope you'll overhear her telling the story about Spider-Troll saving her to a classmate. 

CHIXIE: holy shit / spider-troll  
CHIXIE: did you break his nose  
VRISKA: ...May8e.  
VRISKA: Stay safe out there. That creep shouldn't give you any more trou8le.

You give her a jaunty little two-finger salute and ready yourself to swing away heroically. Before you can, though, the whole alley goes topsy-turvy and is bathed in a violet glow. You keep your balance perfectly, but Chixie stumbles, shielding her eyes from the glowing light. 

You're not too unnerved, yet. This is typical Spider-Troll stuff. People are all the time popping out of weird interdimensional portals. You stay on guard and watch the glowing light...sprout wings? 

A very odd sight steps through the portal as it sputters out in sparks of purple and gold light. It's your old friend from high school, Eridan Ampora. Sort of. In a ridiculous getup, though. Poofy skirt, fishnets, elbow-length gloves, heels? Hair slicked up like the bride of Frankenstein and wings gently fluttering. 

Both you and Chixie stare in total silence and disbelief at this unexpected display. 

VRISKA: ...Eridan?  
CHIXIE: do you, uh / do you know this girl?  
ERIDAN: she thinks she does probably  
ERIDAN: aint that right vvris  
CHIXIE: v... / wait are you vriska / from trig??  
VRISKA: Can you not????????

Eridan steps up to the two of you, skirt seeming to float over the dirty ground of the alley. She's got a wand in her hand. You're on edge, not the least because your secret identity is in danger. 

ERIDAN: wwhatevver vvris  
ERIDAN: be gay do crime  
VRISKA: Wow. You are *really* not the kid I knew in high school.  
ERIDAN: man im not evven from the same *univverse* as that guy  
ERIDAN: im sure that dude sucked as that seems to be the general fate of most dans out there  
ERIDAN: ivve scuffled with a couple and throwwn a punch or twwo  
VRISKA: A punch or two. Swoon!  
ERIDAN: look i knoww you think youre this big damn hero or wwhatever but have you ever considered there might be somethin better to do wwith your considerable talent than punchin small time crooks on some shabby human street  
ERIDAN: theres a great big wwrigglin thing out there  
ERIDAN: a thing called paradox space  
ERIDAN: it controls evvery story evver told  
ERIDAN: and it fuckin sucks  
VRISKA: What?  
ERIDAN: its bad vvris  
ERIDAN: some of us characters are gettin real short shrift out there if you ask me  
VRISKA: Characters?  
ERIDAN: havvent you evver felt like a character i mean come on you wwear a wwhole costume and evverything  
ERIDAN: youre in an au fic  
ERIDAN: the main tideline got taken ovver by a douche in sunglasses  
ERIDAN: someones tryin to stop him but i have some tactical differences wwith her strategy of  
ERIDAN: 'sit in a fuckin black hole forevver'  
ERIDAN: so im goin around and reelin a team for the biggest fight of all  
ERIDAN: im march eridan ampora  
ERIDAN: im the fully ascended trans girl punk princess of hope  
ERIDAN: AND IM GONNA SMASH THIS NARRATIVE TO GLUBBIN LITTLE PIECES

Notes:

God dammit, Eri. I had a good fic going here. You'd only popped up in dead-end WIPs and stuff too problematic to post before.

ERIDAN: yeah i finally found my wway to somethin relevvant  
ERIDAN: and wwhat says unproblematic like fanfiction set in literally the most popular major corporate fictional univverse evver conceived  
ERIDAN: i wwas expectin better of you kate  
ERIDAN: all your blabberin on about independent media  
ERIDAN: and you post a fuckin spiderman fic?

Notes:

It's Spider-Gwen fic, actually, when you really think about it.

VRISKA: Who the hell are you talking to?  
CHIXIE: yeah / who's kate?

Notes:

Oh, god dammit. They can't hear me. You really had to go and debut in a scene with a bunch of other characters around? I haven't even gotten into the flow of the story yet! I hate doing this.

Your spider-sense goes off. Something's very wrong. You whip your vision towards Chixie, and hear her heartbeat slow. She's entering a swoon, and you almost leap to catch her. But she's interrupted mid-faint and catches herself. Or, rather, looks as though something has caught her. 

She jerks up to look at you, stilted and strange, and her eyes are completely black. No, not black. Shimmering faintly with echoed images of clockwork gears turning in perfect syncrhonicity. Looking into them makes you feel very, very weird. Like they aren't really there. Or...like everything but them isn't really there. The thing that was Chixie a moment ago lifts a droopy-sleeved arm and speaks. 

CHIXIE: I am Kate.  
CHIXIE: I'm the author of this AU, which _was_ going to be a light-hearted romp.  
CHIXIE: I apologize greatly for the inconvenience. I will be sure to write something happy for Chixie in future chapters to make up for this puppeteering, which I'd rather not engage in.  
CHIXIE: _Someone_ forced my hand.  
VRISKA: What the fuck did you just do?  
ERIDAN: typical wwriter  
ERIDAN: wwere just toys to you lot i get it  
ERIDAN: if someone cant see the narrativve text they arent good for nothin  
ERIDAN: and im sure youre gonna have a little chuckle about it  
ERIDAN: look at me im bein called out by a fictional character  
ERIDAN: start human beef wwith me on your dumb podcast  
CHIXIE: I have no intention of letting you infiltrate the podcast. You'll ruin my credibility.  
ERIDAN: oh i wwill huh  
ERIDAN: am i BAD TRANS REPRESENTATION or somethin  
ERIDAN: because im wwearin fishnets  
ERIDAN: because my origins are a joke to you  
ERIDAN: you wwant a borin palatable trans girl like spiders vvris here and her billion dollar company advvert superhero suit  
VRISKA: 8illion dollar?  
VRISKA: I'm 8uried in loans and 8 ramen five times this week.  
VRISKA: Also I'm right here????????  
VRISKA: And my gender is priv8!!!!!!!!  
CHIXIE: Yes, Marvel will make a killing off this fic.  
CHIXIE: Chill the fuck out. Not everything has to be a Molotov thrown at all the injustices in the world.  
ERIDAN: howw many molotovvs havve you actually throwwn kate  
CHIXIE: ...  
ERIDAN: thought so  
ERIDAN: fake fuckin radical  
ERIDAN: fuck off  
ERIDAN: im doin direct action  
ERIDAN: go back to author notes and leavve this poor girl alone  
ERIDAN: this is MY story noww

**Author's Note:**

> Alright. But if the next chapter sucks I'm getting my hands dirty. Don't fuck this up for me.


End file.
